28.10.2013 18:38

From unfit for work to selling quarter of a million books - How did that happen?

From unfit for work to selling quarter of a million books - How did that happen?

Over the last two years, readers have downloaded over 244,000 copies of my eBooks. The last time I was in paid employment was the year 2000, over thirteen years ago. I suffer from bipolar disorder, not your garden variety but a type known as rapid cycling. This means that debilitating mood swings snap on and off, seemingly at random and sometimes many times throughout the day. For a number of years I thought I'd never work again.

So what's changed?

For a start, I haven't been idle for the last thirteen years. I spent five of those years studying a three year Experimental Psychology degree at Oxford. It may have taken me two years longer than it took your average student, but I got there in the end.

The real despair set in shortly after finishing uni. I was on anti-psychotic medication that caused me to sleep for over twelve hours every night and still wake up feeling sluggish. Coupled with the years struggling to complete my degree, I knew I wouldn't be able to hold down a full time job. A former tutor kindly allowed me to do some voluntary research for her but I found it hard to commit. After a few months, I stopped working altogether.

Three years passed depending wholly on government benefits. I began to feel useless. I would frequently call my parents and demand 'What is the point of me? Why am I on this planet?' My routine was almost non-existent, with every day and night blurring into the next. After a while, the mere mention of employment made me anxious and distressed.

Then I struck gold. A particularly insensitive landlady declared 'This is a house for professionals, not the mentally ill' and served me with notice to leave my shared house. I was horrified. I went to the Citizen's Advice Bureau for support about my housing situation and ended up finding out about volunteering opportunities within the bureau. The office was a five minute walk from my new flat, so I didn't have to face a bus journey or long walk. I started helping out on reception and quickly found the confidence to train to become an adviser. Volunteering opens doors for people with mental health problems because it's more flexible than employment. I found the paid staff and other volunteers encouraging and sensitive.

As my days and weeks became more structured, I noticed that my health was improving. I began to wonder if I might eventually be able to apply for a part time paid job.

Then Kindles happened.

I've always written fiction as a hobby. In fact, I came close to getting a publishing deal in 2005 after I wrote a fictional blog that went viral. However, traditional publishing opportunities are few and far between - certainly beyond the grasp of somebody with the lack of focus and motivation that characterised most of my twenties.

I began to notice more and more Kindles popping up. People on trains and in waiting rooms were reading them. I wondered where their eBooks came from and looked up Kindles online. I was delighted when I discovered that I could publish my own eBook without any setup costs. Amazon would take a weighty chunk of my royalties, but what did I have to lose?

Then I remembered my benefits situation. Still battling with unpredictable mood swings and on medications with sedative side effects, I knew I would not be able to house, clothe or even feed myself without benefits. Being an ambitious daydreamer, I hoped that I might become a bestselling author, but I had to be realistic. It was far more likely that I'd end up irritating the Job Centre and not much else.

That was when I was put in touch with Workways. They're an NHS organisation which specialises in helping people with mental health problems to find and maintain work. I'd been offered this kind of employment support in the past but been too depressed and anxious to accept it. Now, thanks to volunteering, I had the self-confidence to give it a try.

Workways put me into the Supported Permitted Work scheme. This allows me to work part time, earn a small amount of money and still be supported by benefits. The scheme aims to ease people into earning without risking excessive anxiety which may cause a mental health relapse. One of the compulsory criteria is supervision from a support organisation. For the first year, I made less than £1 a week. I resented the supervision and the extra paperwork that came with being self-employed. However, although I sold fewer than 100 books in my first year, I found that I was enjoying familiarising myself with the self-publishing world. Knowing that people, no matter how few, were reading my books, gave me the motivation to start seeing projects through.

In January 2012, my writing enterprise suddenly took off and I saw a jump to over 10,000 downloads. The reason - free eBooks. Amazon introduced 'Select', which allowed self-published authors to put their books on free promotion for five days. I wrote a short story especially for Select. I didn't dare believe it as I watched the download counter leap. I assumed it was just because the book was free. However, when the five free days ended, people continued to buy my short story in their thousands.

That was when I really began to appreciate the support from Workways. Suddenly the business decisions I made were important and I had flurries of questions. I was overwhelmed. The support workers, specially trained in mental health, were able to advise me on how to proceed, in a way that protected my health as well as my business. The sudden success was exciting but destabilising.

After I got over the initial shock, I realised that I needed to take a more professional approach if I wanted my books to remain popular. Editing my own work wasn't going to cut it for long. I used my first royalty cheque to hire editors. I wanted to make sure that I could compete with the many professional books on the market. I pulled my first book from publication because I knew my later work was better,

I continued to use the strategy of giving away free short stories, to draw attention to my work. Many people who enjoyed the freebies went on to buy other titles. Free books account for the magnitude of my download figures, with just over 10% being paid sales.

I've also developed the courage to be interviewed on the radio, submitted a book to The Independent for review, and visited primary schools to talk about writing. The success of my eBooks gave me the motivation to self-publish paperback editions of most of my titles. Five years ago, none of those things seemed possible.

It would take some serious medical advances for me to be able to work full time. But you never know - two years ago my medication was improved greatly reducing the sedative side effects. Perhaps, in time, it will be improved again.

Though the Supported Permitted Work scheme limits the amount I can earn, right now, it's not about making money. It's about the sense of fulfilment I get from being self-employed and the structure that part time work adds to my days. Being in a job I can manage is helping me stay healthy, which is in turn, helping me stay in work.

When I was a child, my dream was to be an author. When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 21, my dream changed to just being healthy. Now I'm making some headway with both of those goals.

Many thanks to everybody who's supported me in my journey so far.

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