Yes, you can hate Fifty Shades and not be a prude
Since I started publicly objecting to the Fifty Shades of Grey film coming out, complete strangers have started accusing me of being a fuddy-duddy.
"I guess some people like BDSM and some people like vanilla."
The so called 'S&M' in Fifty Shades is exceptionally mild by modern standards. Anybody with an internet connection has seen a bit of spanking and knows that you can put things up the bum.
There are three types of people...
My issue has nothing to do with the sex, other than the fact that it's drawing people to the book.
My problem is with the fact that the relationship is fundamentally toxic. Christian alienates Ana from her friends. He gets possessive and jealous when she talks to other men. He illegally tracks her phone. And many, many other activities that fit the description of a psychological bully.
The genuine BDSM community hate this book. A dom and sub should be equal and the submissive must set her own limits. A true sub would feel a strong desire to submit, rather than agreeing to something because she's afraid of the alternatives.
Christian uses sexual punishments to control Ana rather than to please her. He spanks her when he gets angry, which a dom would never do. He doesn't respect her limits. It's not about exploring whether Ana enjoys being a submissive and finding out what works for her, it's all about her submitting to his terms.
If Christian and Ana were having repetitive, vanilla sex in the missionary position, I would still be opposed to the book. But at least then there wouldn't be crowds of people believing dangerous fallacies about sex and romance because they happen to have read a book about a hideous relationship masquerading as very, very mild S&M.
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